Writers’ Block: A Totally Legitimate Financial Literacy Quiz

By Nora Betts

Managing Editor

Concordia encourages its students to be money smart by taking two courses in Financial Literacy during their freshman and senior years. I have compiled a refresher course with the most important quiz questions. Make sure you know the right answers to prepare prudently for your financial future!

1. You receive a letter from the Internal Revenue Service (IRS) saying that they have a question about your tax return. What do you do?
A. Shred the letter, burn the scraps in your front yard, and post “Screw the IRS” on Facebook.
B. Respond to the letter in a timely manner.
C. Flee to Argentina. They’re onto you.

2. You have just purchased a home and auto insurance package. What do you do?
A. Buy 35 new cars for your friends and family members since insurance makes them free.
B. Douse your new purchases in gasoline, light everything on fire, and fake your death for the payout. Sip daiquiris on a beach somewhere while you wait for your burnt hair to grow back.
C. Make your monthly insurance payments on time and as agreed.

3. You receive an unsolicited email from an unsaved email address. Your McAfee Antivirus program flags the message as a potential scam, but you open it anyway. The email is typed in red Comic Sans letters on a purple background, and there are 17 hyperlinks embedded in the body of the message. The email reads: “This is yur Uncle Jeff. i am being kindnapped and held againstmy will and the only way thney wont kill me is if yyou wire them 42 bajillion dollars to this accoubt ASAP dont ask qesustions just do it oh my gozh i;m so scared plkease tell your motber i loe her.” What do you do?
A. Ignore the email and mark it as spam.
B. Help Uncle Jeff, OBVIOUSLY! What kind of a monster wouldn’t?? It doesn’t matter that you don’t have an Uncle Jeff.
C. Start a GoFund Me page for Uncle Jeff, raise the $42 bajillion, have second thoughts, and keep the money for yourself.

4. You have just signed the lease on your first apartment. Before the 1st of the next month, what do you do?
A. Start a rent strike with the other tenants in the apartment building. Drive your landlord out of town with threats of violence and/or screenshots of his Tinder profile.
B. Make your rent payment on time and as agreed.
C. Purchase a jackhammer and remove all the load-bearing walls.

5. You are considering taking out a private student loan for college expenses. What do you do?
A. Only take out the funds you need, and make your payments on time and as agreed.
B. Find your friend’s Social Security Card while he’s sleeping and apply for a loan in his name. If your friend confronts you, tell your RA that he has alcohol hidden in his dresser and that a girl was in his room five minutes past visiting hours on Monday.
C. Forget about the loan and step out in front of your college’s tour bus as the men’s basketball team is leaving campus. Tuition is free if you get run over, and it’s better to have a few punctured lungs than to be an indentured servant to Sallie Mae.

Congratulations! You are now prepared for your financial future!